Run #2167 – The Beimen New Years Run

So, this was my first time doing a city run (GM Note – It is actually her second) and it was definitely different from our usual fare. Less mountains, for one thing. Some might say no mountains, zero, zilch, nada, zip. I never really thought I would say this but I missed the mountains.

There was a really old watsons, which we didn’t run past and Taipei’s first tea house (or something) that we also, didn’t run past. There were some fine back alleys though, grimy ones, narrow ones concrete one, and one particularly long one that was nothing but corrugated metal sheeting on one side. That one was a keeper.

It was Pig-Gina and Dick in Mouths first time haring a run and, honestly you couldn’t tell, they really went balls to the wall and tried out some really fancy techniques that more conservative (experienced) hares, who are stuck in their dry old ways, would never attempt. For example Occasionally for seemingly no reason whatsoever there would be no flour, really innovative stuff!

I know now that city runs are fast, with no uphill everyone gets to go at their natural speed and you see the true speed of China Hash. I even ran fast, mostly because people were looking. On a run like this the cream rises to the top and it was finally revealed that the fastest man on CH³ is….. The Leash… Wait is that right? God the men in this Hash suck.

Captain Cockeye diligently manned a beer check outside an MRT station and told us what trains to get and which station to get off at very clearly. That did not stop DBD, DWE and Probably Muslim going full retard and taking a train to Luzhou which as well as being in entirely the wrong direction is a terrible place that no one ever wants to go to.

Hsinchu GM made his new girlfriend cum, and everybody at china hash, DWE in particular, made great efforts to ensure that she -or at least Levant- had a good time.

Then there was the naming debacle where democracy once again proved itself to be an ineffective system. Our Tall, strong and handsome GM proposed that we name the South American dude on his second run, “Probably muslim” the hash disagreed and settled on…. “Explosiony” which isn’t even a real word and is just plain stupid Thankfully our GM has no respect for the will of you idiots whatsoever and Explosiony was promptly renamed at the bash to Probably muslim.

The beer truck driver was named, “Next Week” because we were all a bit lazy and couldn’t spend 5 minutes thinking of a good name for a guy who literally is the only reason any of us show up to the hash.

Probably Muslim was given the honour of being our beer babe and by all accounts did an incredible job… but fuck him because he looked better in the ceremonial apron than I do…. What a sexy douche.

The bash: Again the hares made a bold choice where instead of providing Lots of Food, they went for small amounts of very expensive food. so not only was the bash pricey, nobody was full or satisfied (except, possibly DBD)

Cock Pray Love and Cockhunter threw a most excellent party for new Years eve, Which isn’t technically hash news but judging by the list of attendees it was basically a bash so i’m gonna mention it anyway.

There was whiskey, there was beer, there was wine (which fucker got delusions of class and brought wine to an event fillled with hashers?) there was a mysterious and delicious cocktail with a dangerously high alcohol content (the only acceptable reason to drink a cocktail) Mr. Sausage came with -wait for it, you’ll NEVER guess, no really… Children for everyone to enjoy, which of course went down a storm; a real treat.

Except it was actually sausage. Not children. Just sausage. (In puff pastry).


It was an event rivalled only by the second, more exclusive NYE party thrown by Lara Crotch, Ginormous Clitoris and Super Do Me, which was attended by Lara Crotch, Ginormous Clitoris and Super Do Me.

Oh and Sourkraut shifted (Kissed with tongue, for all you non Irish barbarians) our GM at the bash!!!! Everybody knows about that, right? That, that happened? Because it did.


Hash Trash

Chalk My Tits

The trashiest Hash Trash since Hash Trash First Flashed

Run Details

  • Run Number


  • Run Length

    6.5 K

  • Run Location

    Beimen MRT

  • Run Type

    A to A

  • Number of Runners


Download GPX Data
[envira-gallery id=”376″]

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